Officer: What is the purpose of your visit?
Me: I live and work in London
Officer: What were you doing outside the UK?
Me: I was on holiday
Officer: As an “alien”, you are not allowed to enter the country
Me: Why not?
Officer: you do not have an entry visa
Me: But I live here!
Officer: you need an entry visa to get in
Me: But I have a stamp on my passport right there which says: “Leave to remain in the country indefinitely”
Officer: I can see that
Me: So how can I remain in the country if I can’t get in?
Officer: You can remain once you are in but, for you to get in, you need a visa
Me: doesn’t that strike you as absurd?
Officer: No, it strikes me as you don’t have an entry visa
Me: What do you suggest I do?
Officer: I suggest you take a seat while I make some enquiries
3 hours later I was allowed in with the caution that I must never attempt to enter the country again without a visa or I would be deported.
I walked away determined to work hard and save money so I can buy all of the UK and sack that immigration officer however, within 5 minutes I changed my mind about the working hard, saving money or buying the UK elements but kept the sacking part if the circumstances allowed it; they never did.
