“Although you may be a frequent flyer, we urge you to pay attention to the emergency procedure in the interest of your own safety”

Who are they kidding?  Most of their instructions will not save my life!  Oxygen masks dangle in front of you automatically and unless passengers are totally stupid, they will know how to stick a plastic cup round their snouts.  As for the safety jacket, what difference does it make what kind of knot I deploy to fasten it round my waist? Just let me have the damned jacket and I will take care of the rest.  Besides, if I survive the freezing cold water, I am not going to float for long as I cannot swim a stroke.