Here is an easy question to get you started: If you were given a project or a specific task to undertake, what are the key parameters you would typically be mindful of? If your answer was: Budget, time and deliverable, then you can award yourself lots of points and tell your friends you are a switched-on professional.

But wait! Is that all there is to professional life? Many, many people would say it is. I wouldn’t be sticking my neck out in public if I agreed with this proposition, would I?

Many, many years ago, while working for a large retail group, I was given my first project assignment by my boss and I was bursting with pride and excitement; I thought I had finally arrived. The project was a relatively simple affair of delivering an enhancement to a warehousing system we already had. I planned my project, agreed the terms of reference, assembled a small team, contacted stakeholders and set about managing my precious 3 Parameters of “Budget”, “Time” and “Deliverables”. Call it good project management, serendipity, or beginners luck but, I delivered the project in full, on time, and just about within budget; SWEET!

Last thing before going home on Friday, my boss called me in and naturally, I walked into his office feeling like I had just landed on Mars and returned safely to earth, thus expecting a ticker-tape reception and much plaudits. I even dared to imagine a pay rise and/or promotion there and then.

The next 15 minutes were the most painful dismantlement of my pride I ever experienced. He tore me to shreds and threw the pieces in the fire! I protested innocence of course but he had a point, which I found difficult to either accept or understand. His argument ran like this: “What possible use is a project manager for me who delivers the assignment but goes about destroying relationships with every person involved and thus building a powerful set of enemies who will make sure he will never succeed again?

My naïve counter argument to him was simple yet stupid: “but where in my terms of reference does it say I should be nice to people?” He was incredulous and I was lucky to keep my job that day. He made it clear that if I wished to work under his management and continue to have project management opportunities, I had to go round to everyone and apologise for my arrogant and callous behaviour. With little grace, I did what I was told.

Slowly but surely, I learnt a valuable lesson from this little episode. I learnt that delivering on promises is not so mechanical and the implicit terms of reference are just as important as the explicit ones, if only I could read implicit as well as I did explicit.

Setting aside project management and just looking at the whole canvass of business dealings, I truly believe that a fourth parameter is seriously neglected in our dealings. Don’t get me wrong; I am not advocating a 21 Century “flower power” concept here. I still firmly believe in focusing on objectives and delivering cost effectively, within agreed timescales, etc., etc.

What I am saying is that we need to consider the human element in our dealings, if not driven by our basic empathy and humanity, then at the very least let us be motivated by the imperative that our commercial world goes round in circles and sooner or later, our past misdemeanours will catch up with us. Friendless life is a cold and lonely place in commerce.

I am sure all of us can think of big shot names who at one time were held as successful business geniuses and then, for various reasons, wobbled a little and found themselves not just crashing spectacularly to the ground but without a friend in the world. Why do these people one day seem to do no wrong, lavished with praise and awards by friends and admirers and then all of a sudden, end on newspaper front pages dishevelled, broken, old and friendless?

Success is a fickle friend, it comes and it goes but, when it goes, it does not have to take with it the remainder of our dignity and friends.

I believe it is down to us to go about our business minding the three parameters of “Deliverables”, “Time” and “Budget” but; we really need to nurture and look after the fourth parameter of “HOW” we deal with the people who are around us. Maybe I am too much of a romantic but; I think we can get more out of people if we spend a little more time and effort explaining, justifying and considering the other viewpoint. Yes, it may be slower and harder to begin with but with practice, I am certain it can get faster and easier to do so. Yes, people remember those who were unkind and unfair to them but; they also remember those who were considerate and just.

I am off to buy a bunch of flowers to various people, maybe you are one of them!