Derek took the parcel off Claire and went straight to his TNT mini van and placed the bomb, timed to go off at 20:00 hours, in the back of his van. He had two more hours of work and then he would deliver the parcel on his way home to get ready for his night out with his girlfriend the lovely Rita.
As he walked back to the TNT Depot office, he felt his back pocket and reassured himself that the two £50 notes were still there gently warming his right buttock, he decided to be fair to his left buttock so, he took out one £50 note and placed it in his left back pocket so that the warm glow can engulf his entire backside. A triumphant smile spread across his face as his colleague Darren appeared from the back office. Darren was startled by the knowing smile on his colleague’s face and said: “what’s the matter Derek, found some money on the floor or somefink?”
Two hours later, Derek said Happy New Year to Darren and the other two workers and promised not to get too drunk tonight, not much! Before driving off in his van, he phoned his girlfriend the lovely Rita and asked her: “what time do you knock off my lovely?”. Rita said she will be rushed off her feet tonight but will finish at 9:00 explaining the money will be good because it is double pay tonight. Derek said he had a special delivery to make and will be free after that. They agreed that he will come round to the pizza shop and keep her company until she finished her shift.
At 18:10, Derek drove out of the TNT car park on his 4.8 mile journey to Maesglas Crescent to deliver Claire’s present to Walter. Derek knocked on the door and could only hear Zatar miaoing for him to get in and fill her and Izha’s bowl with food but Zatar couldn’t open the door to sign for the parcel and Derek didn’t speak Felinian to understand what the cat was saying so after the third attempt at the doorbell, Derek turned around and decided to deliver the parcel later. He drove the 2.2 miles to town and parked outside the Domino’s Pizza shop in Bridge Street and found Rita busy answering the phone and placing orders with the two young lads who were working the ovens efficiently if not too creatively. He kissed Rita very noisily and she blushed and kicked his ankle. The two youths in the back sniggered and one of them said “go on my son, get stuck in!” and they all laughed. Derek asked if he could have a pizza and one of the lads made him a large sized pizza called “Dynamite”, and covered it with extra cheese, ham, sausages, beef and lots of chillies. There was enough cholesterol in the pizza to fur-up the arteries of a full-grown Blue Whale! Derek loved his pizza and devoured it with two cans of coke in seven minutes flat. Derek was a happy man; he had £100 nestling against his backside, his stomach was full, and his girlfriend was lovely and loving; he was sure New Year Eve would go out with a bang!
At 19:05, Rita took a call for a large order from an officious customer who wanted 12 large pizzas as soon as possible. Rita looked at the schedule and found that all riders were already booked on other deliveries besides, none of the scooters could take 12 large pizzas in one go so, she asked if Derek would mind helping her by delivering the pizzas in his van. Derek was in a good mood so he said only if she gives him a snog. The two youths went into an overdrive and began to prepare the 12 large pizzas. At 19:40, the pizzas were ready, cut and placed in their enormous Domino’s cardboard boxes. Rita printed the invoice, placed the boxes in four thermal bags, gave Derek two bags and she carried the other two and they walked to Derek’s van to deliver the pizzas to St David’s Crescent 2 miles away. They arrived at 19:52; Derek parked the van on the street and they walked up to the front door where a party was getting underway. Rita rang the bell and the officious man opened the door, complemented Rita on the efficiency of Domino’s, paid the invoice with a £5 tip and closed the door. Rita and Derek returned to the van at 19:58. Rita was pleased with her tip; Derek was pleased he did Rita a favour and wanted his reward there and then so he asked for a kiss. Rita looked around and saw the dark street was empty and thought there was no harm in a quick snog inside Derek’s van. But Derek is a hot blooded man, made hotter by the Dynamite Pizza he had an hour or so ago, and fancied more than a snog! Derek and Rita sat in the van and, being the romantic and sensitive type, Derek turned on the radio for some mood music, after fiddling with the radio knob for a while, he found a suitable piece of music; Eric Clapton singing Layla. “Excellent” thought Derek and turned his attention to other more interesting things to fiddle with! Rita started to giggle but was a little self conscious. Finally, she felt Derek had gone too far and said: “Derek, stop it you naughty man, your hands are everywhere tonight!” One and a half seconds later, Derek’s hands were indeed everywhere, so were his arms, legs, his pizza filled stomach and the rest of his body were all over St David’s Crescent. As the bomb in the back of his van exploded, Derek, the lovely Rita, six Domino’s thermal bags and the entire mini van had disintegrated into a million small pieces spread over a 5 mile radius and beyond Junction 28 of the M4. The crater left behind was large enough to make an impressive water feature in the street; this is assuming Newport City Council cared to provide the residents of St David’s Crescent with a water feature.
As they walked back across the fields, Riesling said to Walter: “did you hear that noise pet?” and Walter said it must be a thunderclap but Riesling said she couldn’t remember seeing any lightening. They walked into McDonalds to the sound of police, ambulance and fire engine sirens competing with one another for the attention of other vehicles to get out of their way. Walter and Riesling wandered what the fuss was all about.
Claire, Walter and Riesling sat watching the 10:00 o’clock BBC News. Claire was in her hotel bedroom in Bristol drinking a glass of Champagne while Walter and Riesling were in their own lounge drinking Guinness. The news came through that a huge bomb had exploded in a quiet residential area of Newport outside the house of a retired senior officer of the “1st The Queen’s Dragoon Guards Regiment” also known as “The Welsh Cavalry”, who saw active service in Afghanistan and Iraq until he retired in 2005. The army officer gave an interview outside his blown off front door and condemned the bombers who would stop at nothing to exact revenge on law abiding soldiers like him who are guilty of nothing other than following orders “to protect our civilisation and our decent way of life in the West”. He was particularly miffed that he and his guests were put off their pizza by the events of the evening. Resentful about missing the New Year celebrations, the senior police officer in charge of the case refused to say anything to reporters and simply said: “no comment”. An ex MI5 intelligence expert was also interviewed and he said all the signs indicate it was the work of two Al Qaeda suicide bombers. His hunch was supported by the fact that Mr and Mrs Evans who were out walking in Tredegar Park found a piece of metal shrapnel near the children swings with the letters “TNT” printed on it. The intelligence expert repeated his views in 17 further interviews with ABC, CNN, ITN, SKY, Al Jazeerah, Nippon TV, Russian TV and many others.
Walter and Riesling were shocked and amazed that Al Qaeda is now focussing its attention on Newport. Claire was beside herself with anger at the incompetence of the delivery service in this country. She picked up the phone and ordered another bottle of Champagne. She wondered if Gill Bates would call her at midnight to wish her “Happy New Year”.
To read the next chapter, please click here: Chapter 21
