It was a Friday and Riesling took her bacon butty and Turkish Delight lunch pack and walked to the river front. Her usual bench was free and she could easily have sat there and got on with her lunch as she did yesterday and the day before that but, something inside her told her to carry on further and play a little game with her routine. She walked for a few minutes and tried to remember the bench she used a good while ago. She didn’t have to search long for it. On a bench straight ahead of her sat that odd looking man with his notebook next to him. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him and wondered whether she should go and sit on the same bench.
Walter’s heart didn’t skip a beat; it lost a whole bunch of beats when he spotted Riesling walking towards him. Walter had been returning to the same bench every day since that first encounter over three weeks ago and he was beginning to give up on her ever coming back. This was not easy to arrange because he had to come to work early and leave late every day so that he could take an extended lunch break to give him time to catch the X15 or X18 bus to the city centre and have his lunch in the hope of meeting Riesling again. When he saw her standing a few meters away half facing him and half poised to carry on walking, he quickly removed his notebook from the bench and slid to the right side of the bench to make sure Riesling felt there was enough room for her to sit down. He hoped and prayed she would.
Finally, Riesling walked over and sat down on the left end of the bench and fumbled for her lunch pack. Walter tried to act normal by eating his own sausage roll with one hand and scribbling in his notebook with the other. Walter lost his train of thought and could not get back to his notes. He did not lose his eating noise though; he ate with an accompaniment of “hummmmm, smack, bite, hummmmm, smack” routine. He had an overwhelming desire to speak to his bench companion but he neither knew what to say to her nor what to do if she refused to respond. For the first time in his life, he lost his self-confidence and sense of ease with the world. As the minutes ticked by, Walter was conscious of the possibility that she would soon leave before he plucked the courage to speak to her.
Riesling finished her bacon butty and began to eat her bar of Turkish Delight. She was a little disappointed that the gentleman next to her stopped scribbling and she wondered if he was put off by her presence and didn’t want her to see what he was scribbling. She resolved to leave straight after finishing her dessert so that the gentleman can go back to his scribbling.
Walter: in Turkey, they call it Lokoum
Riesling: in Turkey they call what, what?
Walter: Turks call Turkish Delight Lokoum
Riesling: how do you know?
Walter: it is part of my job
Riesling: part of your job to know what Turks call things?
Walter: no, no, no, not exactly
Riesling: what exactly?
Walter: it is my job to register names of new things
Riesling: why did Turkey want to register names with you?
Walter: they didn’t
Riesling: what did they want to do then?
Walter: I don’t know!
Riesling: so how do you know about Localmum?
Walter: I don’t know anything about Localmum!
Riesling: what about Turkish Delight?
Walter: what about Turkish Delight?
Riesling: what do you know about it?
Walter: in Turkey, they call it Lokoum
Riesling: that’s interesting, isn’t it?
Walter: yes, yes, yes
Riesling: I must go now, goodbye
Walter: will you be here tomorrow?
Riesling: I might or I might not, isn’t it?
*****
Walter sat on his bench waiting anxiously for the M&S Woman to turn up. He tried to remember whether she said she “might” be coming again today or she “might not”. He couldn’t remember! He didn’t have to wonder for long because Riesling was walking towards him in her deliberate and even pace that he noted on the previous two occasions he watched her walk away after her lunch break. Walter thought she looked radiant and lovely and his heart beat so loud he had to button up his jacket to muffle the sound. Riesling gave him a little smile of acknowledgement and sat in her usual corner on the bench without saying a word. Walter took Riesling’s smile to mean “hello” and felt it was okay to speak to her.
Walter: how are you today?
Riesling: I am a bit tired but happy, thanking you
Walter: why?
Riesling: why what?
Walter: why are you a bit tired?
Riesling: how tired do you want me to be?
Walter: sorry?
Riesling: that’s okay
Walter (unbuttoning his jacket and checking his name): Walter Patch
Riesling (standing up and inspecting her uniform): not again, where?
Walter: where what?
Riesling: the water patch. The same thing happened to me on this bench before, isn’t it?
Walter: no, no, no! My name is “Walter Patch”!
Riesling (feeling embarrassed): oh, begging your pardon. I am Riesling Damp, isn’t it?
Walter: pleased to meet you Riesling
Riesling: do you get that a lot?
Walter: no, you are the first Riesling I have ever met
Riesling: no, I mean people confusing your name
Walter: some times. To be honest, I confuse my own name more often than other people! I could never remember it
Riesling: PLAT CREW HAT!
Walter: I beg your pardon?
Riesling: PLAT CREW HAT is an anagram of your name, isn’t it?
Walter: is it? How do you know?
Riesling: I just worked it out! I like doing anagrams of names and things, isn’t it?
Walter: why?
Riesling: why not? It’s a bit of fun, isn’t it?
Walter: PLAT CREW HAT? It doesn’t make sense
Riesling: it does a bit! Imagine making hats from platted hair and making your crew wear them
Walter: I don’t have a crew and I don’t have much hair to plat. I don’t even know how to plat hair! Besides, you would call these things “platted crew hats” and not PLAT CREW HAT. It doesn’t make sense to me at all
Riesling (defiantly): HALT, WET CRAP!
Walter (looking around him with alarm): where?
Riesling: this is another anagram of your name; HALT, WET CRAP! Does that make more sense to you?
Walter (beaming from ear to ear): yes, yes, yes it does!
Riesling: good, now I can get on with my lunch, isn’t it?
For the next few minutes, they ate their lunch in silence but with suppressed smiles on their faces. Walter was pleased with himself for striking a conversation with this woman who seems to have captured his heart three weeks ago and doesn’t seem to want to let go of it. Riesling was pleased with herself for working out two anagrams of a total stranger’s name in less than one minute! “Surely, this must be a record” she thought.
Elated with his progress with Riesling so far, Walter decided to ask her for a date.
Walter: would you like to have dinner one day?
Riesling: I have dinner everyday, isn’t it?
Walter: oh, oh, oh, who with?
Riesling: no one, why?
Walter: would you like to have dinner with me then?
Riesling: when?
Walter: whenever you like
Riesling: you mean like a date?
Walter: yes, yes, yes. We can go wherever you like
Riesling: I know this place that makes great bacon butties
Walter: okay, how about this Saturday?
Riesling: I work at M&S and finish at 6:00 on Saturday. Is this too late?
Walter: no, no, no, 6:00 is fine. I will come and meet you outside the store.
Riesling: come at 6:13 because I need time to change out of my uniform and get to the main entrance, isn’t it?
Walter: I will. What’s your name again?
Riesling (smiling): DAME SLIP RING!
Walter (surprised): You are a Dame?
Riesling: No! It is an anagram of my own name
Walter: and you real name is…?
Riesling: Riesling Damp!
Walter: I think I will write it down in my note book
Riesling: are you sure you are going to remember where I work and what I look like?
Walter: oh yes, yes, yes, I have a good memory
Riesling: you could have fooled me pet!
She called him “pet”! No woman has ever called Walter pet before. He was absolutely delighted to be someone’s pet. He tried to imagine what kind of pet he would be. Not a cat, his own black cat didn’t provide a good role model. Not a dog, dogs are stupid. Certainly not a hamster, they waste too much time on the wheel! He finally decided to be a donkey even though not many people have donkeys as pets. He always thought donkeys were thoughtful, sensitive and deep thinkers even though, to the best of his knowledge, no donkey has ever invented anything. Anyway, Walter was absolutely delighted, yes, yes, yes!
To read the next chapter, please click here: Chapter 4
