I just don’t get how knitting works. I have tried, God, how I’ve tried!
I get the part about the wool being fed through two primitive sticks with pointy ends which eventually turns into objects with surface area, shape, weight and functionality but, I don’t know how the action of two semi-lethal needles operated by a typically serene and relaxed person with two standard hands eventually manages to turn almost single-dimensional string of wool into a 3-dimensional object that can be worn from a hat all the way down to a pair of baby socks.
I have an engineering degree, I understand the complex mechanism of the internal combustion engine; I know what makes an airplane take off, stay up in the air and eventually land; I understand electro-mechanical principles; I get all of that and more. But, I cannot associate the motion of the needles with wool string wound round them can form incredibly complex designs with colour and tone.
Sure, I asked a number of people, including my mother and my wife to show me how to knit. In spite of their best and patient efforts, I failed miserably. My theory is that when I was a child, I was dropped on my head which inflicted a small damage on a very tiny area of my ‘primary motor cortex’ that manages and controls dexterity as it relates only to knitting. All other intricate movements like picking an ant by the scruff of its neck or shaving a balloon with a cut-throat razor were left unharmed.
There are many seemingly basic skills that we observe and have a curiosity to acquire and when we do so, we promptly ignore them for the rest of our lives. Had I cracked the knitting thing at a young age, I would have probably ticked that particular box and moved on. But, as I struggled with and failed at understanding the engineering of the skill, or acquiring the necessary dexterity, it bothered me. It bothered me because just about anyone could do it, whether or not they understood the science of it, except me.
Why does this bother me so much? Considering there are many, many skills that I do not have or will ever have that might be more challenging and interesting, I accept that total knitting deficiency is no big deal and I should get a life, really!
But, what if when I die I discover that knitting is a pre-requisite to entering Heaven and all those who suck at knitting are consigned to a special place in Hell?
