Socialising, what’s that all about? I understand the purpose of it but I don’t get the benefit. My guess is that it was invented thousands of years ago by women. Why do I think this?
Firstly, and generally speaking, women are infinitely better at socialising than men. They practice it, hone it, enjoy it, and do it effortlessly. We men however, fake it hoping to make it. Some of us manage to improve but, not all.
Secondly, the purpose of socialising is closely related to community building, which is the domain of women more than men. Way back in the Hunting Age, men went out hunting, leaving the women to take care of pretty much everything from raising children, to home making, but above all, society building. Women came to realise the need to have a cohesive society that had symbiotic relations. Socialising was the means by which the social fabric of the community was weaved.
That’s my pet theory, anyway.
So, being a man, I come to socialising with a built-in handicap. I do appreciate its relevance and sociological importance however, I don’t have the stamina for it and I can only do it sporadically. Worse still, I do it redundantly. I only enjoy socialising with people I already have a good relation with and the need to connect with them is less urgent than that with people I know less well or not at all. This is why I am impressed and amazed by those who do engage in lengthy and meaningful conversations with strangers, in the hope they may connect and possibly become friends. I find the Irish (men as well as women), are incredibly brilliant at socialising, or as they call it: ‘The Crack’. In a way, I am crackless.
So, my way of interacting with people is rooted in the second thing I suck at (liking people). Those I don’t like, I prefer to have little or no interaction beyond the practical necessity. However, as far as those I like, it would be great if they accepted that we do not have to talk all the time. I really enjoy the long silences between the talking bits. I know people feel uncomfortable with the long, pregnant silences but, I believe that pregnant silences often deliver lovely conversational babies.
All in all, measured by normal social skills, I have to admit that I suck at socialising.
The end is near, dear reader; Three more to go!
