There are many things that used to irritate me I cannot even begin to list them.  As I get older, I set most of them aside under the category of ‘Who Cares?’.  I say most of them because there are a few which far from being set aside, my level of irritation increases exponentially every time I experience them.

Now here is the irony: I now stand guilty of practicing one of them.  It’s as though nature decided to punish me or play a trick on me by afflicting me with this highly irritating habit.

What is this habit?  Repeating the same anecdote or joke to the same audience.  I don’t do it deliberately; I just cannot remember telling the story to a particular person.  The only people who are likely to call me out on this practice are my nearest and dearest who are the most likely victims of my diminishing power of recall.  Their subtle way of telling me that I have told this story a million times is by actually finishing my sentences for me; very disconcerting!

I attribute this horrible habit to my old age; I have no other explanation.  However, I know people who were guilty of this repeat behaviour when they were much younger than I am now.  There are three types of people who live in this perpetual anecdotal loop.

Repeat & React: tell a joke or an anecdote again and provide the appropriate soundtrack of laughter or astonishment expected from your long-suffering audience.  I knew someone who had just one joke which went like this: “I am on a seafood diet; whenever I see food, I eat It”, then he follows it with howls of laughter like he has just heard it for the first time.

Tension Builder: prime your audience that they are about to hear something profound, wise or earth-shatteringly new to them, then proceed to say something inane and vacuous for the 750th time, prompting everyone to search for a sharp instrument to stab themselves or slash their wrists with.  Here is an example: “Let me tell you something I learnt throughout my life that always proved to be accurate: when a lion bares its teeth, he is not smiling at you”.  Most of us learnt the simpler life lesson of never hang around a lion long enough to see if it bares its teeth or not.

Anecdotal Robin Hood: You know the type; they steal from the witty and tell to the dull.  This type is much worse than that.  You tell them a joke/anecdote and a short while later they actually come back and tell you your own joke/anecdote.  WTF!

Oh, wait a minute, have I written this blog before?  You would tell me, wouldn’t you?