Not realising how literally accurate she was to describe her as a loose cannon, Riesling decided to make contact with Claire Hiscott by flushing her out into the open. She explored the idea of placing an advertisement in a newspapers enticing Claire to get in touch but, how can she persuade her to get in touch?
Claire Hiscott had no trouble knowing how to make contact with Walter; she was going to contact him with a very powerful bomb! She went to Newport Central Library in John Frost Square and looked up his address in the electoral register. She drove up to Maes-glas where Walter lives and explored the area. She already knew that he did not have a car so; the challenge for her was how to get the bomb inside Walter’s house. She knew sending the parcel through ordinary post was too risky in case the package was delayed and the bomb exploded in some distribution depot or in an unfortunate postman’s van. Finally, she got a brilliant idea.
On Monday 31December 2007, Claire walked into the TNT parcel delivery service depot in Queensway Meadows Industrial Estate in South East Newport and requested an urgent parcel delivery. Being a quiet time of year after the hectic activities of the Christmas period, Derek, the TNT man behind the counter was understandably not in an “urgent delivery” mood and said it would take a few days to deliver it, “what with it being public holiday and all” he explained helpfully. Claire looked at him tearfully and said her brother Walter was dying of a terminal disease and may not have a few days left and she really would appreciate the TNT man’s help in this matter because what was in the parcel would put a bit of glow in his cheeks before he meets his maker. She decided not to tell the TNT man that the time between Walter getting the glow in his cheeks and meeting his maker would only be measurable in nanoseconds by a professor of physics working with highly sophisticated instrumentation. She did say however that she would be willing to pay £100 towards the TNT New Year party fund for the man and his mates to have a glass of something on her and her family. Derek, the TNT man would have been a heartless person with absolutely no human compassion not to be moved emotionally upon hearing the words “£100 towards the TNT New Year party fund”. He finally relented and said he would personally deliver the parcel to her poor brother this very afternoon. Claire thanked him warmly and passed the small package beautifully wrapped and addressed to one Walter Patch, Maesglas Crescent, Newport. She then opened her Prada handbag and took out two crisp £50 notes and passed them to the delighted Derek who thought his Christmas presents had been limited to the 3 pairs of socks, scarf and the David Beckham aftershave he got from his loving mother Dorothy, sister Myfanwy and girlfriend Rita. Claire got in her rented Sky blue Nissan Micra and dropped her Prada handbag on the backseat next to Walter and Riesling application for the iPatch and drove off towards Bristol.
On the last day of 2007, Walter and Riesling Dampatch decided to spend the day walking in the open. They have been spending too much time indoors and needed to fill their lungs with fresh outdoor air and to plan their next move. As they walked south along the River Ebbw towards River Usk, they discussed how to make contact with Claire Hiscott and Riesling explained her plan:
Walter: so how are we going to find this woman, er…
Riesling: Claire Hiscott pet
Walter: that’s the one. She is hardly going to make herself known to us, is she?
Riesling: no, and this is where we have to be sneaky
Walter: I am afraid I don’t know how to be sneaky my Foxy Lady
Riesling: it is easy pet, you just think evil thoughts
Walter (trying to think): no, no, no, I am afraid it is not working
Riesling: leave it to me pet. Claire must be in touch with her sister Caroline Aloy who lives in Surrey or Stephen Bawtree the man who is a partner in the iBall application who lives in Gloucestershire so; I am hoping they will help us get in touch with her
Walter: so, we go up to them, introduce ourselves and ask for her address?
Riesling: no pet! We place an advert in the local papers in Surrey and Gloucestershire claiming to be a firm of solicitors and asking for the whereabouts of Claire Hiscott because we have some news to her advantage
Walter: what “news to her advantage” do you have in mind Journal of my Affections?
Riesling: it doesn’t matter pet. What matters is that she will think it is something like a winning lottery ticket or an inheritance from a rich maiden aunt. One way or another, her greed and curiosity will bring her to us, isn’t it?
Walter: I didn’t know Claire had a rich maiden aunt
Riesling: nor did I pet. Hopefully, one of these two people or even someone else who knows Claire and how to get in touch with her will come across the advert and pass the information on to her
Walter: but can we be sure that a) one of these blighters will see the advert and b) Claire will get in touch with us?
Riesling: we can’t be sure of the first part so we have to take a risk here. But, if they do read the advert and pass the information on to Claire, I can guarantee she will be in touch; it is human nature, isn’t it?
Walter: if you say so but what if no one reads the advert?
Riesling: we keep repeating the advert until they do
They suddenly realised they have walked a long way and they were getting cold so, Riesling suggested they walked back and see if they can have a hot drink and bacon butties at McDonalds near Walter’s house.
To read the next chapter, please click here: Chapter 20
