I don’t Like People! There, I said it. I can stop here but, where’s the fun in that?

On the whole, when I come across anyone (with the exception of children), my default setting is not to like them and continue to ‘not like’ them until and unless they hit the ‘like me’ button embedded deep in my warped psychology.

Now how do you find this button, I have absolutely no idea. Most never do but very few do and I let them in. Before you completely detest me, and I am ok with that, let me explain that I always endeavour to be polite and courteous to everyone but, not warm and fuzzy to the point that they may get the wrong idea that I actually like them.

I worked with a chap called Bob who was the complete 180-degree opposite of me who liked every and anyone he came across and continued to like them, even if they gave him multiple reasons to hate them. How Bob coped with life and maintained a sunny attitude, I shall never know. The man is unworldly.

What makes some open and welcoming of all comers while others to be like me who have a filter-in rather than a filter-out selection process is a mystery to me.

My filtering-in process is clearly on display in situations when I am likely to be accosted by strangers such as at stand around with glass-of-something in hand parties or when travelling on trains or planes. I have learned to avoid the stand around parties so, my coping mechanism there is easy enough. However, public transport is impossible to avoid, especially air travel, of which I do a great deal.

Most flights are multiple hours and sitting next to someone as a captive audience is not my idea of fun; I would rather French-kiss an ‘Australian Inland Taipan’ snake than engage in a conversation with a fellow passenger. I have invested in an expensive set of cordless headphones, which I don before I board the plane and keep them on, even when I go to the toilet, lest I am accosted by someone who wishes to have a chat as we pass each other through the aisle. Admittedly, I run the risk of missing out on meeting someone who is really interesting and potentially life-changing for me but, it’s a risk worth taking in order to avoid the soul-destroyingly boring person who wishes to share with you family photographs, describe his boring job with intricate detail or, express shallow and asinine opinions on world issues.

Am I proud of this attitude of mine? No! Am I ashamed of it? Not at all. I just suck at liking people, and that probably includes you. It’s ok, you can dislike me back, I guess I deserve it.