Losing is for losers! That’s the way I see it. Although I spent the majority of my life in the UK, I never subscribed to the British philosophy of: It’s not the winning that matters; it’s the taking part. I think this is completely disingenuous and is only uttered soon after a loss in order to sweeten the bitter pill of failure.
Someone once said to me: I hate losing more than I love winning. I can understand and accept that. Don’t get me wrong, winning is wonderful but, God almighty, losing stinks and I cannot bear it.
Now, I am not talking about the game of life and the big issues of war, elections, referenda, football matches etc. because these big issues are in other people’s hands and not exclusively in mine. I am talking about the less important everyday stuff like occasional arguments, scrabble, bidding for a contract and not getting it and so on. Any loss is unimaginably difficult to swallow, simply because it is largely in my own hands and the failure is my own.
So, how do I cope with it? Naturally, I try to avoid losing by preparing, practicing, revising, lobbying, and psyching up the opposition; whatever it takes to secure the right result.
The other thing I do, which is guaranteed to avoid losing; I avoid playing altogether! Once I establish that I am not good at something and there is little chance of getting significantly better at it, I avoid playing that game; simple and effective. For example, I don’t play chess but, I play backgammon because I stand a chance of winning at backgammon but with chess, I can easily lose to a tortoise nursing a hangover and desperate to go to the bathroom.
The poet William F O’Brien wrote a poem which goes like this:
Some say risk nothing, try only for the sure thing,
Others say nothing gambled nothing gained,
Go all out for your dream.
Life can be lived either way, but for me,
I’d rather try and fail, than never try at all, you see.
Sorry, Mr. O’Brien, I don’t agree with you. I suck at failure and I am proud of it.
Rejoice, one more to go!
