I am very good at forgetting, and as I get older, I am getting better at it by the day; but that’s probably something to worry about in another blog. I am also very good at forgiving, especially when it comes to the usual human frailties such as disloyalty, cheating, conniving, self-seeking and lying.
What I really suck at is forgiving & forgetting (F&F) at the same time. This may seem illogical to be good at two things separately but bad at the combination. I don’t think so, though. There is something unworldly and angelic about claiming to be readily able to F&F anybody for anything.
When someone does something that is so remarkably despicable and out of character, that it leaves a deep scar, I cannot do the F&F thing for a very long time, if ever. The hurt and pain I feel just adopts resentment and remembrance (R&R) that remains vivid in my conscience and soul.
And here is the kicker: I am more likely to F&F those whom I care least about more readily than those who are closest to me. I suppose it is to do with expectations whereby, those I care little for I have very low expectations of and those who are close to me I have unrealistic expectations of.
In a way, this last ‘Suck At’ is related to the first one of not being able to come to terms with losing people I care about. In the case of death, and in some situations in the case of separation, it is me I cannot forgive, rather than the other person. But, I have to be honest here and say on most occasions, it is the other person I can neither forget what they did, nor forgive them.
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As I went through this period of introspection listing the things I wished I could have mastered in my life, I found that there are many more than the thirteen I shared with you, but to be honest, there was no point in carrying on because the list is likely to go on forever. For example: I cannot fly, lay an egg, win an Olympic gold in anything, or understand Stephen Hawking and so on. I also wanted the series to be fun and light-hearted but, one or two of the blogs, such as this one, are morose and miserable, which gives me an idea for something else I a suck at!
Anyway, I am relieved this series is over and I am sure you feel the same way.
